How to Look in The Mirror

In the opening passage to his fairy tale The Snow Queen, Hans Andersen describes a mirror.  An ordinary, everyday object.  But this mirror is special; and terrible.  Created by a malevolent magician, it has remarkable properties - everything good and beautiful when reflected in it shrinks to almost nothing, and everything ugly and useless is magnified to ten times its size.  In this mirror, the loveliest landscapes look like boiled spinach, and a tiny freckle is magnified until it seems to spread over the nose and mouth.

So not at all like the mirrors we use....  Or is it?   Let’s look for example at the mirror of the media.  Not the specific eponymous newspaper, but media in general.  Do they give a balanced view?  With a few exceptions, the bias is on bad news, wrongdoers, errors, other peoples’ mess.  Of course bad stuff happens, and we should want to be aware of it; to take action; to care.  But looking at the world through those eyes, you might think the world a truly hideous place.  

Advertising and spam tell us that we don’t have enough; that we need more stuff.  And worse, that we, ourselves, are not enough.  That we need bigger breasts, whiter teeth, slimmer thighs, stiffer cocks.  And witness the rise of reality TV - voyeuristic shows like Big Brother and Jeremy Kyle, with their vicarious angst.  

How often do we collude with these views - focussing on what’s wrong or missing in our lives rather than on what is good.  Yet most of us have beauty and love in our daily lives if we care to look. 

We expect a mirror to tell us the truth, but the mirrors we are surrounded by only tell us a part of that truth, framed by the prevalent zeitgeist, the prejudice of the writer, the breadth (or narrowness) of sources and opinions we select from.

Facts are facts, but we move so readily between the facts and the meaning we make of them - the stories we create - that it is often hard to tell them apart.  We filter the evidence around us, first by choosing what we pay attention to, and second by the meaning - social, political, emotional - we attach to those things.

And what about when we look in a real mirror.  What do we see?  We are usually on a mission - tending to our hair, brushing our teeth, focusing on the various imperfections that catch our attention.  Or our thoughts are on something else, so we are not really looking;  we just glimpse ourselves in passing.

But when we look at the people we love, we see their beauty, not their so-called flaws.  We see beyond the superficial; we see them, just as they are, but in the light of our love.  I invite you to look at yourself in this way.  Look in a mirror today - doing nothing else - for five minutes, and try to see beyond.

In Andersen’s story, the mischievous mirror shatters and fragments of it are let loose into the world, flying about in the air, wreaking havoc.

The people and sources of information that we choose to have around us will change the way we see the world.  As Krishnamurti suggests, “Relationship is the mirror in which we can see ourselves as we are”.  

Other people offer us a view of our true selves.  So it is important to surround ourselves with the kind of people who see us - and so show us - as we truly are; who allow us to step forward and shine.