Letting IT find YOU

Have you ever felt lost in your life?  Frustrated?  And anxious to find something.  And ever felt that your search has become a task in itself, and a constant struggle..?

So how would it be to stop trying so hard?  To trust that the answer or solution will come, somehow?

What do we tell children to do if they get lost when we are out together?  “Stay where you are.  I will find you.”  

Can you picture yourself and the answer you seek walking round in circles, up and down different supermarket aisles, just missing each other like some surreal farce, getting more and more panicked?

Consider the description in David Wagoner’s poem, Lost

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you

Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,

And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,

Must ask permission to know it and be known.

The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,

I have made this place around you,

If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.

No two trees are the same to Raven.

No two branches are the same to Wren.

If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,

You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows

Where you are. You must let it find you.

So how might you create the conditions in your life where the answers, or the good things you seek, might turn up?  How might you stand still for long enough for them to find you? 

Please share your thoughts or email me to explore this idea further.

Is Greatness Relative or Absolute?

I recently attended a session where the participants were asked to consider their ‘greatness’.  It prompted some interesting discussion, not least around a fear of rejection or of being somehow separate from others if they were to become great.  

What this highlighted was that, for many of us, it is difficult to think about one person being ‘great’ without that somehow meaning that someone else is ‘less great’.    It means that we resist stepping into our greatness for fear of being alone. 

So what if being great is not about being better or best.  What if it is about bringing our own unique gifts, and the whole richness of who we are, into whatever we do.  And what if it were possible to step into greatness and at the same time become MORE connected than we have ever been.

As long as we see our becoming great as somehow overshadowing others, that shadow will keep us in darkness too.  And fear or shame may stop us in our tracks.

Yet, as Marianne Williamson says in A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles: 

‘as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.’ 

How could you be great and foster greatness in others?

Please share your thoughts or email me to explore this idea further.

The Poetry of Coaching

"the shape of words like the shadows

of doves, settling." 

from Translation, Jane Griffiths

This coming weekend, I will be speaking at the Euro Coach List Conference near Bristol, UK, about the parallels between coaching and poetry.  Unusual bedfellows?  I don’t think so.  

Language is a crucial part of any coaching process.  Our self expression is a bridge between our internal and external worlds.  As a coach, I pay close attention to what clients say and how they say it. Together, we listen for their authentic voice.

Using ‘clean’ language, carefully reflecting and repeating the client’s choice of words, can enrich coaching.  And there is a growing understanding of the use of particular language tools, such as metaphor, in the coach’s repertoire.

As a poet as well as a coach, I have always been interested in the power of particular words, phrases and images to evoke feelings and clarify thinking.  I increasingly find myself using snippets of poetry, and poetic imagery in my coaching.  This can be especially powerful for clients who most value new ways of seeing their challenges, over practical help with planning and actions.

However, I believe the link between coaching and poetry goes further than this.

The language and forms of coaching and poetry have much in common; they are non-directive, open, often rhythmic, involve ‘showing’ not ‘telling’, and are about what ‘might be’ as well as ‘what is’.  Poetry and coaching have a shape but not a rigid structure.  Both create a space in which we might overhear something important.

Thinking about my coaching practice, I have gained clarity and focus from finding a way to see it; in other words finding a metaphor for the way I work.  Many people, including coaches, describe their work in part through different metaphors.  For me, seeing my coaching approach as poetic has given me greater insight than reams of ‘how to’ text books.  Consciously employing poetic devices has strengthened my practice and yielded delightful and surprising results.  Above all, it feels authentic. 

"What can anyone give you greater than now,

starting here, right in this room, when you turn around?"

from You Reading This, Be Ready, William Stafford

Please email me for a copy of my presentation, or to explore this idea further:  

sam@differentdevelopment.com