I love TED talks, and am especially excited about the upcoming TEDx Brighton. The theme for 2013 is legacy - a word ripe with connotations.
We tend to think about a legacy as something that is left behind us; usually after we die or retire. Something seen in our wake.... A legacy may be financial, cultural or structural. It is usually something pretty big, concrete, fixed; it might even be legendary.
Whilst our lives have undoubtedly been improved by great legacies - scientific, cultural, philosophical and more - the very idea of a legacy can smack a bit of arrogance. And it may be closely associated with the kind of charismatic leadership that is great when ‘good’, but can easily slip across to the dark side. We only have to think about some recent political legacies to come up with examples.
On an individual level, for examples in my coaching conversations, inviting someone to focus on the legacy they wish to create in their team or organisation can be hugely motivating. And the old question of what we might wish people to say at our funeral or in our obituary is a great focuser of mind.
And yet focusing on the grand ‘gift’ we will leave behind - on working towards this future goal - can take us away from the moment; away from the quotidian ways in which we make a difference.
The original meaning of the word ‘legacy’ is a "body of persons sent on a mission,", hence the papal legates ("ambassadors, envoys") of the history books. Only in the mid 15th century did it become associated with "property left by will" and the sense of some edifice left behind.
If our legacy is an outward expression of our mission - and we are our own emissaries - we can choose how to focus; where we will send our message. Every living day we can send ourselves on a special mission as diplomatic representatives of our credo.
How might we do that?
Perhaps one of the best legacies we can live and leave would be to have a ‘good life’. Palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware shone a light on what such a life might be made of when she captured the top regrets of her patients. These were:
- I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
- I wish I hadn't worked so hard
- I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
- wish that I had let myself be happier
I think that the simple acts of expressing ourselves, being true and connecting with others can add up to one of the greatest living legacies.
In The Mastery of Self Expression workshop, we see time after time the effect of people choosing to represent their personal credo more faithfully, openly and bravely. It is a huge relief to many to be able to speak up after what feels like a long time in limbo. It is incredibly moving to be accepted as we are in all our power, messiness and vulnerability. And when people show up and are acknowledged, they not only connect more powerfully with others, but they give those others permission to show up too.
Dan Fauci, creator of The Mastery, humbly calls it ‘changing the world, one person at a time’! I think this is a huge part of my living legacy. Firstly to send ripples out into the world around me, simply by connecting just a little more fully, honestly and lovingly. Second, to play a part in lighting a fire in others that helps bring their legacy to life as well.
I have to say that’s its a huge privilege, and enough of a legacy for me.....
NB Do share your ideas here. I’d love to know what living your legacy means to you.
1 Ware, B. Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing; Hay House, 2012
2 The Mastery of Self Expression, created by Dan Fauci at The Actor’s Institute, NYC. See www.brighton-mastery.co.uk
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